How does a person get to the point of committing a massive crime or a public moral failure? The late Tim Keller noted that if you were to go back in time twenty years and show the person a crystal ball of what they’d eventually do, in most cases, they would be horrified. They would
According to self-determination theory, three profound needs contribute to human motivation: competence, relatedness, and autonomy. In a recent Harvard Business Review article on influencing without authority, Pamela Meyer explains that autonomy may be the most profound of the three. People desperately need to feel they have agency, or they will distort the way they express
Twenty years ago, I used to run daily around a lake near my house. One day, I saw a man rowing on the water. Because I had been a rower in college—and he was the only person I’d ever seen rowing on this particular lake—I told my wife Kari that night that I was going
The past month has been a whirlwind with our twin boys graduating from high school. Amidst the endings and celebrations, my wife and I have reflected on our boys’ level of preparedness for greater independence. Specifically, we wondered how ready they are to elevate their executive function to make decisions and demonstrate reliability on their
I recently observed a meeting where a team member raised a complex issue. Another leader immediately jumped in to address it. Within seconds, the rest of the room went completely silent. I had the distinct sense that the rest of the team didn’t go quiet because they lacked ideas, but because of the approach the
By the time you read this, my son will have performed his guitar and vocal solo. It’s his first and final high school solo concert performed over three nights, in front of hundreds of people. He has been anxiously anticipating this moment on the stage since the tryouts months ago. That anxiety comes from a
We are swimming in ego-centric waters. Media, tech, education, sports, and the modern workplace generally set a glidepath toward “self.” This external pressure is reinforced by our own brain’s self-protective measures. The slide is often a slow and subtle bend inward toward our own appetites, agendas, and concerns. As C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape
“I don’t know how I’m going to get through this week,” I bemoaned to my wife recently. The demands on my schedule were surging. The week was stacked with back-to-back meetings, travel, and obligations. As I mentally scanned the mountain of tasks ahead of me, the load felt incredibly heavy. Then I stopped and engaged
What potentially meaningful thing are you avoiding right now? For me, it’s networking. Specifically, the proactive outreach required to open up new business opportunities. I’m naturally introverted, my schedule is already packed, and I certainly don’t get any dopamine hits from scraping through LinkedIn. I’ll admit, I even looked into using an AI agent to
Several years ago, my marriage counselor shared a piece of wisdom with me that fundamentally shifted how I view communication: Defensiveness is the weakest posture in an interaction. I saw this play out recently during a presentation at a city council meeting. A consultant was pitching a proposal, and the mayor questioned the data regarding
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE