My dog, Happy—a gentle, twelve-year-old golden retriever—and I recently went for a walk in a massive, wooded park. Because it was very early in the morning and no one else was around, I let her run off leash. Things were peaceful until Happy trotted a short distance ahead of me up a hill, rounded a
I recently observed a meeting where a team member raised a complex issue. Another leader immediately jumped in to address it. Within seconds, the rest of the room went completely silent. I had the distinct sense that the rest of the team didn’t go quiet because they lacked ideas, but because of the approach the
Recently, a friend—someone whose personality is much more direct and skeptical than mine—told me that a project I created was wrong and wouldn’t work. Because of his abrupt, borderline-rude delivery, I immediately shut down and distanced myself from him. My resentment had nothing to do with whether he was right. It was entirely about the
I once worked for a manager who always had me walking on eggshells. He was smart, funny, and caring — seemingly the perfect manager. But there was something about him that always had me on edge, measuring my words and considering my actions. Have you ever worked with, lived with, or been friends with someone
Last weekend, my wife and I had a simple disagreement. It should have been resolved quickly because we generally communicate well with each other. This time we didn’t. Something about this particular disagreement … this particular situation … in this particular moment escalated. In retrospect, we should have seen it coming. Our only escalated conflict
Leo flinched and shot up, his eyes darting wildly. “What was that? Oh no, not now.” As his colleague Maya calmly assessed the fallen supply rack, Leo fumbled for his phone and hit the button for maintenance, his face heating up in stress and irritation. With clipped, exasperated breaths, he began to explain the problem,
Imagine a flight where the pilot, instead of following standard procedures, decides to do things based on their mood. One day, they might be meticulous with their pre-flight checks, and the next, they might rush through them. Naturally, this unpredictable behavior would make the co-pilot and crew highly anxious! They wouldn’t know what to expect,
When I went through marriage counseling, one of the biggest realizations I had was this: Criticism that contradicts my idealized self-image makes me very defensive. It’s sometimes referred to as an identity quake: a rocked self-image that can be disorienting and triggering. For example, part of my self-image is that I’m highly focused on others.
Flawless. That was my impression of this executive after our first few meetings. He had exceptional integrity, personality, decision-making ability, and everything else to be successful in life. Then I spent more time with him. I discovered that he avoids conflict and can be overly harsh when challenged. Not surprisingly, these tendencies had contributed to
I’m in the process of recruiting people to participate in a few events I’m hosting. I’m aware every time I send an invitee an email that I’m dependent upon them to achieve my goals. It would be easiest to not take on this recruiting effort, or to just blast out some information and hope people
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE