“I don’t know how I’m going to get through this week,” I bemoaned to my wife recently. The demands on my schedule were surging. The week was stacked with back-to-back meetings, travel, and obligations. As I mentally scanned the mountain of tasks ahead of me, the load felt incredibly heavy. Then I stopped and engaged
Recently, a friend—someone whose personality is much more direct and skeptical than mine—told me that a project I created was wrong and wouldn’t work. Because of his abrupt, borderline-rude delivery, I immediately shut down and distanced myself from him. My resentment had nothing to do with whether he was right. It was entirely about the
Several years ago, my marriage counselor shared a piece of wisdom with me that fundamentally shifted how I view communication: Defensiveness is the weakest posture in an interaction. I saw this play out recently during a presentation at a city council meeting. A consultant was pitching a proposal, and the mayor questioned the data regarding
The all-girls chorus sang first in our recent high school choir concert. Their voices were beautiful as they harmonized in unity. If you closed your eyes, you’d think they were angels. But seeing them made me think that they probably didn’t all view themselves as angels. Do you know what someone looks like when they
I once worked for a manager who always had me walking on eggshells. He was smart, funny, and caring — seemingly the perfect manager. But there was something about him that always had me on edge, measuring my words and considering my actions. Have you ever worked with, lived with, or been friends with someone
Every Sunday through Friday night for 11 hours starting at 8:30 pm, and every Saturday for 24 hours starting at 12:00 pm, I refrain from taking part in what I call The Four Horsemen of Reactivity: Productivity: Getting items checked off my to-do list Achievement: Finding ways to accumulate and win Measuring Up: Engaging my
Leo flinched and shot up, his eyes darting wildly. “What was that? Oh no, not now.” As his colleague Maya calmly assessed the fallen supply rack, Leo fumbled for his phone and hit the button for maintenance, his face heating up in stress and irritation. With clipped, exasperated breaths, he began to explain the problem,
When I went through marriage counseling, one of the biggest realizations I had was this: Criticism that contradicts my idealized self-image makes me very defensive. It’s sometimes referred to as an identity quake: a rocked self-image that can be disorienting and triggering. For example, part of my self-image is that I’m highly focused on others.
I remember years ago leaving a meeting with several high-level leaders and saying to one of them privately: You really did a good job getting everyone to understand and buy in to that complex topic. I was in a technical role at the time, and his response shocked me: The key in these meetings, he
Last week the Indiana Pacers were trailing the New York Knicks by 14 points with less than three minutes remaining in Game 1 of the NBA Eastern Conference finals. Then they did something no team that is losing by so many points with so little time remaining has done since the NBA started tracking play-by-play
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE