By the time you read this, my son will have performed his guitar and vocal solo. It’s his first and final high school solo concert performed over three nights, in front of hundreds of people. He has been anxiously anticipating this moment on the stage since the tryouts months ago. That anxiety comes from a
We are swimming in ego-centric waters. Media, tech, education, sports, and the modern workplace generally set a glidepath toward “self.” This external pressure is reinforced by our own brain’s self-protective measures. The slide is often a slow and subtle bend inward toward our own appetites, agendas, and concerns. As C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape
“I don’t know how I’m going to get through this week,” I bemoaned to my wife recently. The demands on my schedule were surging. The week was stacked with back-to-back meetings, travel, and obligations. As I mentally scanned the mountain of tasks ahead of me, the load felt incredibly heavy. Then I stopped and engaged
The all-girls chorus sang first in our recent high school choir concert. Their voices were beautiful as they harmonized in unity. If you closed your eyes, you’d think they were angels. But seeing them made me think that they probably didn’t all view themselves as angels. Do you know what someone looks like when they
I once worked for a manager who always had me walking on eggshells. He was smart, funny, and caring — seemingly the perfect manager. But there was something about him that always had me on edge, measuring my words and considering my actions. Have you ever worked with, lived with, or been friends with someone
Leo flinched and shot up, his eyes darting wildly. “What was that? Oh no, not now.” As his colleague Maya calmly assessed the fallen supply rack, Leo fumbled for his phone and hit the button for maintenance, his face heating up in stress and irritation. With clipped, exasperated breaths, he began to explain the problem,
For a few months in my 20s, I struggled to leave my apartment. Depression and anxiety felt so heavy, it was nearly incapacitating. One thing that stands out from the fog of that period is something my mother-in-law told me (or maybe she told my wife to tell me): Just take the next step. Don’t
We were worried entering this summer that we didn’t have enough activity scheduled for our kids. And yet, it turned out to be one of the best summers for our family…in large part because it was so unscheduled. We ended up filling the unscheduled time with great spontaneity and connection. In a similar way, I
When I went through marriage counseling, one of the biggest realizations I had was this: Criticism that contradicts my idealized self-image makes me very defensive. It’s sometimes referred to as an identity quake: a rocked self-image that can be disorienting and triggering. For example, part of my self-image is that I’m highly focused on others.
As I stood waiting to check in for a doctor’s appointment, the front desk staff was enduring a combative patient. He’d come into the office that morning to dispute his bill and was threatening to disparage the clinic on social media for misleading and unfair business practices. It seemed the two women at the front
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE