By the time you read this, my son will have performed his guitar and vocal solo. It’s his first and final high school solo concert performed over three nights, in front of hundreds of people. He has been anxiously anticipating this moment on the stage since the tryouts months ago. That anxiety comes from a
Several years ago, my marriage counselor shared a piece of wisdom with me that fundamentally shifted how I view communication: Defensiveness is the weakest posture in an interaction. I saw this play out recently during a presentation at a city council meeting. A consultant was pitching a proposal, and the mayor questioned the data regarding
When I went through marriage counseling, one of the biggest realizations I had was this: Criticism that contradicts my idealized self-image makes me very defensive. It’s sometimes referred to as an identity quake: a rocked self-image that can be disorienting and triggering. For example, part of my self-image is that I’m highly focused on others.
A group of clients and I were casually standing around talking as I impulsively told another funny story. It may have been the third story I’d told them in the time that we’d been talking. They laughed…and then I realized that I was the only one telling stories. I chided myself: You shouldn’t try so
I’ve been consuming lots of podcast content over the past year. The show that’s captivated me the most is called What It’s Like to Be…with Dan Heath. It’s fun and thought-provoking, but what I find most fascinating is Dan Heath’s self-restraint. His understated, concise questions get his guests to say the most unguarded and interesting
Several years ago, a friend invited me to join his exercise group. “It will change your life,” he said. The workouts were early in the morning, very painful and I honestly wasn’t sure I had the guts to keep doing them. Around the time I started participating, the group read Jesse Itzler’s book Living With
In September, 1928, a Scottish physician discovered the world’s first antibiotic: penicillin. This groundbreaking advancement earned Sir Alexander Fleming knighthood and the Nobel Prize. Yet, soon after this achievement, he began publicly warning that bacteria could become immune or resistant to antibiotics if exposed to non-lethal quantities. Few listened to him. Despite his warnings, the
Animals in the wild tune their senses to any threats or environmental changes. Likewise, human beings process many signals from others, and the brain’s amygdala activates what it deems to be appropriate fear or avoidance responses. For instance, if I notice what appears to be someone multi-tasking in a meeting while I’m presenting, my amygdala
In his book “A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life,” Parker Palmer observes that human beings — especially in group settings — often behave like animals in the wild that remain in hiding and only allow themselves to be seen when it’s safe and worthwhile to take the risk. The only difference in
Here’s an obvious truth worth contemplating: Many times a day, you and I experience emotions while we’re interacting with others. We feel frustrated, annoyed, anxious, angry, nervous, excited, jealous, resentful, disappointed… The way we act and communicate amidst our emotional states will impact our trust, influence and wellbeing. It Can Be HARD to Regulate Emotions
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE