Improving Every Interaction to Make the World a Better Place
I recently joined one of my clients for a Zoom meeting with participants from three departments in their organization. As discussion of the topic got underway, it quickly became apparent to me from my vantage point as an outsider that one department had the power, one felt marginalized, and one didn’t really care.
In fact, much of how people felt had to do with how they were interacting.
The two people in the department with the power were nice people and well-intentioned, but you could feel their power by the way they communicated.
“We’ve been asked by our CEO to produce a plan by Monday.” (Translation: We have a direct line to the source of power, and it will be our plan not yours.)
“We know. We’ve tried that already.” (Translation: We have the expertise, not you.)
“We’ll let you know what we need from your team.” (Translation: We will dictate the flow of communication, and your team isn’t part of our team.)
As they exerted their power, you could see and feel the marginalized team getting defensive. They angled to be included, understood, and appreciated. They weren’t building credibility with anyone as they made desperate pleas, complained about being left out, and inflated their value.
All the while, the department that didn’t care was off camera and/or multi-tasking, which gave the meeting a feeling of hopelessness…like the entire meeting didn’t really matter. The department that didn’t care did care about the company and the other people in the other departments, but they were busy and weren’t sure why they were in the meeting at all.
Meetings like these happen every day in every organization. The circumstances and players vary, but the fact remains: People don’t always interact as well as they should.
You know that. You experience it all the time.
Our organizations, communities, and families are filled with nice, well-intentioned people just trying to do their job but communicating with words and actions in ways that reduce commitment, trust, and productivity.
It’s in these mundane meetings, emails, and other forms of synchronous and asynchronous communication that every. one. of. us. occasionally misses the beat of the song that the entire band is trying to play.
Don’t stop believing that people can communicate better and that it will make a difference.
I’m no exception. I’m far from perfect. My organization and family are far from perfect. But rather than just accept it, I’m working on it constantly.
This is the conversation I regularly imagine having with leaders:
Me: I’m guessing some of the interactions — both internal and external — that your people have don’t go as well as they could. Is that a fair assumption?
Them: That’s fair.
That’s true for any organization. Given your current business reality, what’s the cost of your people having interactions that don’t go as well as they could?
I think the cost is in employee turnover, wasted time, low quality, and reduced morale.
To minimize that cost, perhaps it would be worth investing in coaching, training, and mentoring so that people might have better interactions. What do you think?
Yes, we need to invest more time, money, and energy in improving how we interact internally and externally. Our organization is successful, and we have good people, but we could be so much better.
I’ve dedicated the past 20+ years of my career to trying to have conversations like these. Leaders who make having better interactions a priority outperform those who don’t over time. Perhaps even more importantly, they contribute to making the world a better, more humane place.
How could you improve your interactions? How might you invest in the interactions of others?
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