My last article presented 10 forms of personal reactivity that everyone should carefully manage. Whether it’s anger, anxiety, worry, blame, insecurity or lack of boundaries, emotional triggers disrupt relationship health. While those reactions might be our default responses, awareness helps us interrupt the patterns and make different choices about how we behave, especially in challenging
Recently, I came on too strong with someone. My voice was a bit loud and aggressive. My words were harsh. I was right to be upset, but my reaction only escalated the situation, and the relationship was strained as a result. In the end, I’m not sure anything productive was accomplished. Perhaps I drove my
I wrote the following in January, 2016. Since then, I’ve exchanged diapers for youth sports. Pandemic restrictions have come and gone but full schedules and high demands remain the reality. Perhaps, like me, you need to re-establish your limits to enjoy greater clarity and connection with others. ***** When I started my day last Sunday,
Thanks to my wife, my kids have better homework habits than I had. They recently told me about how many kids in their class were “freaking out” about an upcoming summative test. “But we,” they explained, “are feeling pretty relaxed about it because we’ve simply been paying attention and grinding out the homework.” I couldn’t
Recently, after stopping in a hardware store with my sons, one of them pointed out that my accent had shifted. Apparently, without realizing it, I spoke to the man working in the hardware store with a very strong “Minnesota accent.” It was surprising to have this pointed out since I didn’t notice the shift. According
If you were coaching an actor before a performance, you’d have them rehearse their lines. If you were coaching an athlete before a competition, you’d have them practice and train. As a leader, mentor, friend or parent, you also have opportunities to help others improve key skills. Every Leader Is a Coach After nearly 20
At age 17, Kirstie Ennis enlisted in the United States Marine Corps, following in her parents’ footsteps. On tour in Afghanistan in 2012, enemy fire shot down her helicopter. Six people died. She barely lived. The physical and emotional pain got so intense in the years that followed that she attempted suicide. Then, in 2016,
In the movie Invictus, national rugby team captain Francois Pienaar faces a challenge shared by most South Africans: He’s asked to change his beliefs and his ways. Newly elected president Nelson Mandela has set bold objectives for racial reconciliation after years of apartheid. The movie beautifully depicts the true story of how Mandela influenced Pienaar
In my last post I considered how predictable emotional regulation contributes to trust and influence, especially under stress. Here we’ll look at how effective interpersonal interpretation, especially under stress, further contributes to trust and influence. Let’s face it, even the smartest humans aren’t capable of processing all the data around them at any given time.
Here’s an obvious truth worth contemplating: Many times a day, you and I experience emotions while we’re interacting with others. We feel frustrated, annoyed, anxious, angry, nervous, excited, jealous, resentful, disappointed… The way we act and communicate amidst our emotional states will impact our trust, influence and wellbeing. It Can Be HARD to Regulate Emotions
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE