My friend and I were out for a run. Our conversation along the way began as an information exchange, talking to each other about what we’d done that week. And then it pivoted to his marriage. “It’s not going well,” he told me. “We’ve been fighting a lot.” At that point, my listening changed. I
How would you describe your dream client relationship? I’m fortunate to have one right now, so I know exactly what it looks like for me: The client and I genuinely ask how the other is doing—because we care. We open up to each other about work goals and challenges. He invites me into his planning
I arrived with great suspicion at the baseball card shop on 98th and Lyndale last week, hauling five years of my childhood from the trunk of my car to the feet of the shop’s owner. I was burned by baseball card trades in my childhood, so I fully expected this guy might try to take
Four months ago, I began something that, although it didn’t start out that way, ended up being an experiment in gratitude. Initially, I was responding to my own frustration that I couldn’t seem to remember the things that others cared about. I’ve been carrying so many things about myself in my own head that it
I arrived home from work feeling very self-satisfied. I was on a roll. “How was your day?” asked my wife. “Great.” “Why?” “I got everything done that I wanted to.” And then she asked me this: “Is that how you measure the quality of your day?” Oh my, I thought. I certainly do. I mean,
Are you aware of how the tone of your communication impacts others? It might be far more than you think. In a recent study, researchers at the University of Southern California analyzed the acoustic features of couples’ dialogues and, based on that analysis, were able to out-predict marriage therapists on which couples would remain together.
In her TED Talk, The power of vulnerability (the fourth most-watched in the series, with 28 million views and counting), Brene Brown discusses research showing that we build connections, contentment and credibility when we “show up as we really are.” And “as we really are” is wounded—vulnerable. Maybe not right at this moment. Perhaps you
It was a tense, even stifling, environment. People were afraid to fail, so they avoided risks. They were reluctant to speak up in meetings or challenge ideas. The reason? The leader. He was never out of control, always in charge, always one step ahead of everyone else. Never vulnerable. Always composed. For all his self-assurance,
At a recent company meeting, one of the people on my team announced that she was “the most engaged at work” that she’s ever been. She’s worked on our team for several years, and this hasn’t been the easiest of them. Yet she is on fire. Imagine the impact her enthusiasm for work has on our
The tension was heavy in a recent meeting. The participants had competing agendas, different personalities and diverse perspectives. Being privy to side conversations before the meeting, I knew that they were making judgments about each other. Instead of coming together as “we,” they were defending and protecting the “me.” In his classic book “Nonviolent Communication,”
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE