When I went through marriage counseling, one of the biggest realizations I had was this: Criticism that contradicts my idealized self-image makes me very defensive. It’s sometimes referred to as an identity quake: a rocked self-image that can be disorienting and triggering. For example, part of my self-image is that I’m highly focused on others.
I work with a large company that recently decided to stop sending clients the annual survey they had been sending out for years. While the “home office” saw it as a way to reduce administrative effort, the decision caused an uproar among field employees, who generate hundreds of meetings from the survey results each year.
I remember years ago leaving a meeting with several high-level leaders and saying to one of them privately: You really did a good job getting everyone to understand and buy in to that complex topic. I was in a technical role at the time, and his response shocked me: The key in these meetings, he
I loved my first job out of college developing and integrating corporate technology systems. Many days were spent either alone or with teams enabling business processes and getting systems to “talk to each other.” We learned to think in conditional (if-then) statements and Boolean logic (it’s this AND that, OR that NOT that). In other
I’ve been consuming lots of podcast content over the past year. The show that’s captivated me the most is called What It’s Like to Be…with Dan Heath. It’s fun and thought-provoking, but what I find most fascinating is Dan Heath’s self-restraint. His understated, concise questions get his guests to say the most unguarded and interesting
When it comes to not winning a championship, Minnesota is number one. It’s currently in the unenviable position of having the longest dry spell of any U.S. pro sports market. The drought has become a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, after the Minnesota Vikings won 14 of the first 16 games of the 2024 regular season,
A leader recently asked me: What type of person is a bad candidate for a coaching or training program? He had someone on his team who he suspected might be a bad candidate. He didn’t want to make an investment and not see it pay off. I love this question because it also implies the
Over the holidays, I observed many people on work calls during their “time off.” Family members and friends often watched and waited, or just went off on their own. One daughter mindlessly scrolled her phone while she waited for her dad to finish his call, pausing every five minutes to signal her impatience. A friend
It was almost exactly seven years ago that my mentor challenged me to sit in silent contemplation for five minutes every day. Every day, I’d set the timer on my phone, close my eyes, and pay attention to insights or ideas that would come to the surface of my conscious mind, such as: Your anxiety
At a dinner party my wife and I attended recently, the host asked everyone to answer this question: What is an area of life where your thoughts have changed in recent years? It’s a fascinating question because it implies that our thoughts (opinions, perceptions, assumptions, priorities, and values) can actually change. Neuroscientists refer to this
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE