How to Get Back on Track After a Bad Day
I had a bad day last week, and the worst part was that it should have been a great one.
Our boys were home from university for the week, the weather was beautiful, and I felt healthy. But I overslept on Thursday morning and immediately felt anxious about skipping parts of my daily routine.
My anxiety compounded later that morning after I felt vulnerable delivering a two-hour presentation to a big group of people I didn’t know.
When we feel that kind of internal threat, our brains release cortisol and adrenaline. I tried to escape the anxiety and vulnerability by getting more done: answering more emails and furiously checking more items off my task list.
But I tried to do too much, which resulted in me being ten minutes late logging into my next meeting. After that meeting, I had a conversation about money, which only amplified my anxiety further.
I cut my workday short so I could go to a family outing we had planned. But because my internal state was a mess, my outward interactions became sidetracked. I faked enthusiasm as I talked to people. The introvert in me just wanted to be alone and keep checking items off my task list.
All along I kept thinking, this should have been a good day, not a bad one, which somehow made it feel so much worse.
After we got home, I had a drink to calm my nerves. Alone. I didn’t even like being around myself. I slept poorly and woke up tired. The anxiety flywheel was now turning at full speed. With the stress compounding, Friday was likely to be yet another bad day.
But it wasn’t.
I managed to stop the flywheel by doing three specific things:
- I affirmed my identity. First, I reminded myself exactly where my value comes from and that it is not derived from the opinions of others or my current circumstances. I immediately felt the tension release in my chest.
- I built meaningful connection. Second, I attended a men’s group that I’ve been part of for years. I honestly didn’t feel like being there, but their presence reminded me that I’m part of something that matters.
- I actively experienced awe. Third, I did something challenging outdoors. I ran through a nearby nature preserve while red, orange, and yellow leaves drifted around me. That physical movement and exposure to awe reset my perspective and clarified my thinking.
It’s funny how anxiety and desolation can feel amplified amidst favorable circumstances. We end up feeling bad just for feeling bad.
The way I got out of it wasn’t by trying to fix it, solve a problem, or scold myself back into focus. Instead, I followed three research-based protocols to build resilience and flourish: Affirm your identity, build meaningful connections, and actively experience awe.
How often do you have bad days when they should be good? And more importantly, how well have you trained yourself to get back on track?
