Recently in a coaching conversation, I asked a client what he wanted in life right now. Initially, the response was somewhat obvious: happy family, health, work success… Then he paused to reflect more deeply. “I want to know I’m doing a good job,” he said. “Actually, you know what I really want?… I just don’t
There I was in a hotel on a business trip. My mind was racing. The trip packed my agenda with meetings and dinners. Always on, constantly prepping for the next thing. Meanwhile, my to-do list was growing with other work and personal needs. On top of it all, I had been fitting in podcasts and
Every day, a person walks by a house, and every day there’s a dog howling on the front porch. Every day. Howling. A man sits next to the dog on the porch, calmly rocking in a chair. Finally one day, the passerby stops. “Why does your dog howl every day?” “Because he’s lying on a
I paced nervously behind the stage. In a few moments, I would be expected to deliver a presentation at our annual company conference. A voice in my head warned me, over and over again: Do not get on that stage. The warnings triggered physical alerts: A quickened pulse. Short, shallow breaths. Tightened muscles. Ten years
Juan Martin del Potro was amped and frustrated. It was the finals of the 2018 US Open Men’s Championship, and he was losing to Novak Djokovic. The tension only mounted as spectators and his tennis club from Argentina sang at the top of their lungs like it was a soccer match, reminding him of the
Several years ago, I went to see a prominent psychologist. I’d been having persistent stomach aches, shortness of breath, difficulty swallowing, and sharp pains in my head. My doctor said I was healthy. Nothing was wrong with my body. What could be the problem, I wondered. After ten minutes and a few questions, the psychologist
Ever since I wrote about courage, I continue to see examples of how confidence determines your willingness to do difficult things. Confidence allows you to say “yes” to a good but hard thing or “no” to something bad yet alluring. It’s trust in yourself — your values, self-image, and capacity. I’ve especially been noticing it
I spent time last Saturday preoccupied with my failings from the week. Over and over I processed frustration with myself for the way I’d responded to a few questions in a radio interview I’d done. You should have prepared more. Why did you say that? How did you forget to say that? Are you ever
What difference do you see between these statements: The traffic was awful vs. I left late My schedule is crazy vs. I’ve agreed to too many things You’re making me angry vs. I’m feeling defensive She didn’t get back to me vs. I need to follow-up with her This job is too difficult vs. I’m not doing what
My wife recently confessed that she was feeling like she’d let others down. I was initially quite surprised. She had just hosted approximately 20 women at an impactful work-related event, and after all the time she put in coordinating invitations, seating, and logistics, the event was a huge success. But what was on her mind
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE