The Ultimate Motivation Killer: Stripping Autonomy
According to self-determination theory, three profound needs contribute to human motivation: competence, relatedness, and autonomy.
In a recent Harvard Business Review article on influencing without authority, Pamela Meyer explains that autonomy may be the most profound of the three. People desperately need to feel they have agency, or they will distort the way they express themselves.
Meyer points out a common organizational trap: You have a colleague who simply won’t do what you want, no matter how many times you ask. Often, these individuals are labeled as having executive function issues or a bad attitude. But Meyer argues that isn’t what is happening. Usually, their resistance is simply a desperate bid for autonomy.
Daniel Pink riffs on this same concept in his book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us. For deep, self-directed motivation to occur, human beings must have a desire to direct their own lives, work, and choices at any age.
When we want to get things done with and through other people, we often let our impatience take over. We impose our will in direct and indirect ways. Without realizing it, we strip the autonomy of the people around us.
Here are four common interpersonal dynamics that steal autonomy:
- The Communication Bypass: This happens when you hoard information or make plans that involve or impact others without asking them first. Leaving people in the dark removes their agency.
- The “I Know Best” Monologue: This is the trap of the Four Ds I’ve written about before. You dominate a conversation, act superior, or insist your way is the only right way, making others feel incapable of making their own decisions.
- The Chaos Creator: You agree to a plan but constantly move the goalposts. You change the rules, timelines, or expectations at the last minute, turning your lack of planning into an “urgent” distraction that forces everyone else to drop everything and adapt to you.
- Weaponized Consensus: You refuse to let anyone make a simple choice without everyone voting on it. As a result, you end up stalling individual initiative and holding back their momentum.
No doubt you’ve been on both ends of several of these dynamics.
The goal for any leader is to notice and name these behaviors so you can strengthen the autonomy of your team. The higher the autonomy, the more motivated people will be to move in a positive direction.
The next time you are feeling agitated with someone’s resistance, pause and ask yourself: In what ways might their autonomy feel threatened right now, and how can I adjust my actions to give them their agency back?
