Last weekend, my wife and I had a simple disagreement. It should have been resolved quickly because we generally communicate well with each other. This time we didn’t. Something about this particular disagreement … this particular situation … in this particular moment escalated. In retrospect, we should have seen it coming. Our only escalated conflict
Leo flinched and shot up, his eyes darting wildly. “What was that? Oh no, not now.” As his colleague Maya calmly assessed the fallen supply rack, Leo fumbled for his phone and hit the button for maintenance, his face heating up in stress and irritation. With clipped, exasperated breaths, he began to explain the problem,
We were worried entering this summer that we didn’t have enough activity scheduled for our kids. And yet, it turned out to be one of the best summers for our family…in large part because it was so unscheduled. We ended up filling the unscheduled time with great spontaneity and connection. In a similar way, I
Imagine a flight where the pilot, instead of following standard procedures, decides to do things based on their mood. One day, they might be meticulous with their pre-flight checks, and the next, they might rush through them. Naturally, this unpredictable behavior would make the co-pilot and crew highly anxious! They wouldn’t know what to expect,
When I went through marriage counseling, one of the biggest realizations I had was this: Criticism that contradicts my idealized self-image makes me very defensive. It’s sometimes referred to as an identity quake: a rocked self-image that can be disorienting and triggering. For example, part of my self-image is that I’m highly focused on others.
I work with a large company that recently decided to stop sending clients the annual survey they had been sending out for years. While the “home office” saw it as a way to reduce administrative effort, the decision caused an uproar among field employees, who generate hundreds of meetings from the survey results each year.
Did you know that the word “but” is an acronym for “before the ultimate truth”? Ok, it’s not really…but that’s what it signals: What’s to follow is truer. When you use the word “but,” it tends to create unnecessary friction in an exchange. In my last post, I suggested seven words that lead to greater
I remember years ago leaving a meeting with several high-level leaders and saying to one of them privately: You really did a good job getting everyone to understand and buy in to that complex topic. I was in a technical role at the time, and his response shocked me: The key in these meetings, he
I’ve been consuming lots of podcast content over the past year. The show that’s captivated me the most is called What It’s Like to Be…with Dan Heath. It’s fun and thought-provoking, but what I find most fascinating is Dan Heath’s self-restraint. His understated, concise questions get his guests to say the most unguarded and interesting
Monks practice their faith with self-denial and dedicated simplicity. The original Christian monks lived in the Egyptian desert. One day, Abbot Macarius said to his fellow monks, “Brethren, flee.” Confused, one of the monks asked, “How can we fly further than this, seeing we are here in the desert?” Macarius placed his finger to his
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE