Restricting Your Reactivity to Certain Windows of the Day
Every Sunday through Friday night for 11 hours starting at 8:30 pm, and every Saturday for 24 hours starting at 12:00 pm, I refrain from taking part in what I call The Four Horsemen of Reactivity:
- Productivity: Getting items checked off my to-do list
- Achievement: Finding ways to accumulate and win
- Measuring Up: Engaging my inner critic to evaluate myself based on performance expectations
- Connectivity: Scrolling, responding, watching, reading, and working on things online
It’s painful to refrain from them, like an addict in withdrawal.
If I never refrain from them, though, the Four Horsemen will leave me burnt out, disconnected from the people I care most about, and neglecting the activities that matter most.
When I compromise my time-restricted windows, I feel the consequences almost immediately, including:
- Not being fully present with my family and friends
- Going to bed late or going to bed agitated
- Failing to ever “catch up” on sleep
- Tired or missing life-giving morning routines like exercise and prayer
- Feeling like “it’s never done” or feeling like “it’s all up to me”
- Getting sick, impatient, and triggered
- Giving into temptations and escapes
You might be thinking, each of the Four Horsemen sound like positive activities. What’s so wrong with them?
Absolutely nothing is intrinsically bad about them, but they each produce high levels of cortisol, adrenaline, and epinephrine, which are medically proven to lead to cardiovascular problems, metabolic issues, weakened immunity, physical symptoms, and mental health problems.
Productivity can demand more and more, accusing you that you’re not enough.
Achievement can drive your self-worth, declaring that your value depends on your accomplishments.
Measuring up can dictate your self-esteem, suggesting that you are no more than a reflection of what others think or whether you can keep meeting unrealistic standards.
Connectivity can distract your focus and attention from “real life” and “real people,” keeping you in perpetual search for the next dopamine hit.
All four drive reactivity.
As I’ve written recently, reactivity (to people and pressures) damages relationships and influence.
Despite this, most people spend most of their time reacting to short-term demands rather than long-term opportunity.
Time-Restrict Your Reactivity
Time restrictions can be helpful in all parts of life.
For example, Stanford neurobiologist Andrew Huberman suggests time-restricted eating to promote weight loss, organ health, and gut health and to reduce inflammation and forestall cognitive decline. He and other experts point to research suggesting that an 8-hour eating window best manages glucose levels and contributes to metabolic health. Another term for this is intermittent fasting.
In a similar manner, we need to rest and repair from the stressful reactivity spurred by the Four Horsemen. Because like eating, each of the Four Horsemen is an essential part of life—but they can also run us ragged if we give them full rein over our lives.
Faith traditions have incorporated the concept of sabbath, shabbat, or sabt as a period of rest and a chance to relax into God’s all-sufficient provision.
Like these traditions, I choose a 24-hour period that’s not part of my standard work week and that often includes life-giving activities. Additionally, I block an 11-hour period on each day of the rest of the week that includes about 7-8 hours of sleep, two hours of time to relax in the evening, and two hours to exercise and start the day properly in the morning.
I’ve found that these time-restricted windows contribute immeasurably to my mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual well-being.
In his book The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg refers to “keystone habits,” which are small, powerful habits that trigger a chain reaction, leading to a cascade of other positive changes in a person’s life.
Regularly stopping the Four Horsemen at certain times of the day or days of the week can be a keystone habit that leads to positive changes in your life.
How could you start to structure regular time restriction from reactivity?
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