The Path to More “Likes”


“Given our communal attention deficit, the pressure has mounted…to be fast, funny and heartfelt as hell.” Rob Lazebnik, writer for “The Simpsons”

Hand pressing like button

When it comes to communication, the stakes just keep getting higher: You have to not only cut through the noise and capture attention to be heard, you have to be Liked, with a capital L.

Last week I ran a report in Google Analytics showing a 16% increase in my blog traffic. I felt affirmed. But then I noticed my most recent Facebook update only had 12 likes and one comment. My previous update had 26 likes and one comment. Why wasn’t my recent update as likable? Was it the day and time when they were posted? Was it the quality of the picture, what I wrote, or who was in the photo?

It’s amazing how measurable we’ve made our relationships. I wonder how long it will be before we can instantly and electronically “like” or “comment” on a colleague’s performance in a meeting or on a sermon at church.

Of course, likability, no matter the context, is subjective. But in preparation for your next public contribution, here are three universal ideas for increasing your likes:

1. Reveal who you really are. Some say that social media risks painting a one-sided portrait of ourselves – the side we are ok revealing. In a recent training course I conducted, the group publically recognized a fellow participant for her show of deep emotion as she talked openly of her struggle between work and family. After the public recognition, she admitted she often sees other people’s shows of emotion as courageous but her own as a weakness. Letting ourselves be fully seen by people who have earned the right to see us for who we are tightens the bonds of trust and mutual appreciation.

2. Participate in the conversation. For quite some time my only update to Facebook has been my weekly blog post. I read other people’s updates but I haven’t engaged fully in the community. A friend challenged me that some people might view my blog posts on Facebook as self-serving since my blog reflects my professional life and it was all they saw of me. So I took her advice and, over the past several weeks, have been posting an occasional photo or status update and posting comments and “likes.”

It’s called “social media” for a reason. Yes, I might get more people to read my blog by being more engaged, but more importantly, I’m enjoying the community and the benefits of connection that Facebook provides.  The same concept applies in other life situations: when we proactively engage with others, they become more receptive to our ideas.

3. Limit your contributions. Whether in conversation, a wedding toast or a work email, we don’t have the patience for people who talk too much. Despite our appreciation for the person or the material, too much contribution to the dialogue is viewed at best as annoying and at worst, self-aggrandizement. Make people want more, not less.

How do you maximize the likelihood of people liking what you have to offer?

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2 Comments

  • Susan Arico
    November 12, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    THIS friend is glad to see that you’re better enjoying the community that FB has to offer… And also appreciates the shout-out here 🙂
    A fourth that I might add would be actively pursuing contentment with obscurity. This seems like the opposite of the point for content-providing engagers in social media… But it’s fully the point for Christ-followers: “be content with obscurity, like Christ.” (Col. 3:4B) I’ve been actively pursuing this lately and finding it brings such a different bent to my endeavors in writing, sharing, liking, engaging social media, etc.

    • normanblogger
      November 12, 2013 at 8:07 pm

      Interesting point about obscurity, Susan. Submitting or humbling our own ego does contrast with the drive for a brand or a platform amidst the social noise. Perhaps the resolution of that tension is in the word “contentment”. You/Paul don’t seem to be saying “pursue” obscurity but rather “set your heart on things above”. Perhaps being “likable”, therefore, should be motivated by the desire to bring value to others and as a testimony to the source of your insights.

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MATT NORMAN

Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE