In August 1921, an athletic, healthy 39-year-old man awoke at his family cabin in Maine with a strange ache in his back. Despite trying to shake it off with a swim and a jog, the pain and fatigue increased. Within 48 hours, paralysis set in across his arms and legs. He lost all control of
Breathe. Look up. Shoulders back. Push harder. Release the fear. When I went through certification to become a group fitness instructor several years ago, I learned about the power of these kinds of “coaching cues,” quick words spoken in the moment to help someone improve their performance in real time. Coaching cues aren’t just for
Social interactions have been key to human survival for thousands of years. So it’s not surprising that hard feelings like rejection, disapproval or disappointment from others can be nearly intolerable. For example, one executive I know is currently facing the massively difficult task of possibly removing one of his key leaders. Several employees have complained
John recently had a high-stakes meeting that did not go well. He became flustered and defensive when the CEO hit him with unanticipated questions and ideas about his team’s status. John admitted that he didn’t have good answers to the questions. But he also insinuated that the CEO’s questions weren’t relevant (after all, John had
I’ve previously discussed the principle that Dale Carnegie determined would be number one in his book on relationships and influence: Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain. Being critical, judging, or complaining not only hinders trust, but it also makes it hard to get others to see things your way. But just why is that the case?
On a Minneapolis radio station in the early 90s, a satirical disc jockey called the Chucker used to conduct hilarious interviews of famous people. The Chucker was obnoxious. The bigger the celebrity’s ego, the more the Chucker would frustrate them with his demoralizing behavior. Go listen to the recordings. They’ll make you squirm. Perhaps some
Complaining reached its peak in our house recently. Kids complaining about food, about homework, and about each other. Us complaining about kids complaining. Us complaining about work, about how busy we are and about something the other did or didn’t do. We have a lot of happiness and love in our family, but we’d slipped
Criticism: The expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes. Sometimes that’s a verbal punch to the face. It may be a facial expression of disapproval or a tone of voice that betrays annoyance. Perhaps it’s a passive/aggressive comment. You might not realize that you’re delivering criticism, but your expression
This post was originally published on December 22, 2015, and updated on June 11, 2019. Most people have an ideal self-image—one that often comes from things we admire or dislike in our own parents. Other people can crush this ideal through their criticism and we are wired to protect and defend. This defensive side of
At various times this week, I felt dismissed, ignored, unappreciated, and criticized. None were dramatic events, just hurtful. And it was like any week: the normal reality of living, working, and relating with other human beings. Get too close, and we hurt each other. This week, though, something was different: I was more aware of
Matt Norman is president of Norman & Associates, which offers Dale Carnegie Training in the North Central US. Dale Carnegie Training is a global organization ...READ MORE