Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the number of opportunities to make an impact in the world, in your work, and in your community? It’s common to wish we could make a bigger difference, but it’s just as common to feel limited by our resources, lack of knowledge, and fears. Cue what I like to
Browsing category Influence
I’ve previously discussed the principle that Dale Carnegie determined would be number one in his book on relationships and influence: Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain. Being critical, judging, or complaining not only hinders trust, but it also makes it hard to get others to see things your way. But just why is that the case?
On a Minneapolis radio station in the early 90s, a satirical disc jockey called the Chucker used to conduct hilarious interviews of famous people. The Chucker was obnoxious. The bigger the celebrity’s ego, the more the Chucker would frustrate them with his demoralizing behavior. Go listen to the recordings. They’ll make you squirm. Perhaps some
I often wonder what meetings would be like if there were time limits on each person speaking. In professional basketball, for example, they allow each team 24 seconds to take their shot at the net. The clock resets only after a team has attempted their shot or turned the ball over to the other team. Think
Do you ever feel resentful that people aren’t listening well enough to you when you talk? Perhaps it’s your boss, a client, or your husband. Maybe you’ve said, “I told you that, but you didn’t listen!” Or you’ve thought, “Why are people on their phones in our meetings!?” It can be a difficult and frustrating
This post was originally published on Nov. 5th, 2014. It was modified and reposted on Aug. 26th, 2019. The leader of a business association once took me out to lunch to recruit me for membership. He had his work cut out for him. I had two legitimate hesitations in joining: First, I’m uncomfortable adding another
This post was originally published on May 17, 2016. It has been modified and was republished on August 12, 2019. When I rowed crew in college, the races (and practices) were punishing. From the moment we touched the boat on land to the moment we put it back into the rack, the one thing we
The decision to do or not do something, to support or not support something, to spend money or not spend money on something…despite what you might think, these aren’t logical choices. Decisions are made in the emotional/intuitive part of the brain. So how do you get people to change their mind? Emotions Over Logic Research
When a person is guarded, it is almost impossible to have an influence on them. Perhaps you can coerce, control, or manipulate them, but persuade, influence, or gain their cooperation? Not so much. Ask a trained hostage negotiator. Former lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI, Chris Voss, says: Though the intensity may differ from
*Spoiler alert: this post contains part of the plot to the “Avengers: Endgame” movie. It came as a surprise when I received one of the best leadership insights of the week from Thor, the Asgardian god of thunder. Actually, it was from his mother Frigga. During a time-travel back to Asgard in the latest Marvel